“Transformers: Dark of the Moon,” a work of ineffable soullessness and persistent moral idiocy, concludes with Chicago taking it in the shorts for 50-odd minutes, at the hands of the Decepticons in an alien takeover scored, partially, to an emo-ballad mourning the “cataclysm” of it all.
In the original Greek, “cataclysm” means to “wash down,” as in swill. Another side note: Monday’s Chicago press screening of the third “Transformers” picture was delayed by 20 minutes because, as the AMC River East spokesman explained to the crowd, the auditorium’s digital projector needed time to complete its “ingesting” of the feature. Well! What goes in must come out. One way or the other.
In the third “Transformers” we learn via Ehren Kruger’s screenplay that the NASA space program was a massive cover-up, allowing the crew of Apollo 11, among others, to explore the alien metal ruins on the moon’s hidden dark side. We learn also that Shia LaBeouf’s screaming intensity knows no human limits. He acts like a twisted, hyper-caffeinated rageaholic even when he’s not confronting the enemy robots on Wacker Drive and environs. He acts this way simply when he’s nervous about his new girlfriend, played by Victoria’s Secret undies model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, spending time with her boss (Patrick Dempsey), whose office is played by the lovely and talented Santiago Calatrava-designed Milwaukee Art Museum. more